Thanks but no thanks.
The "patcher" will do nothing and the windows update is not applicable on my machine.
The usual suspects KB30xxx and KB29xxx are present on my Windows 8.1 Pro (x64) machine. No "Get Windows 10 App" present. All requirements are met. Nothing happens. I think it's the fault of being tagged as "Windows Insider" and thus, the update process gets killed from your account.
One of the biggest reasons, that no one seems to mention in articles, is that it will not offer you the upgrade icon if you're joined to a domain. This mostly effects business PCs, but also affects those on home servers.
I would try running one of the scripts that you can find on like threads on this site. I had the same issue with 2 of my systems and it ended up be a registry key that was missed during the original kb installation. Probably why some of the answers say to remove and reinstall the update.