It sounds like a driver error and a variation of cable, since after uninstalling the driver, it didnt work with the other cable, but worked with the nokia cable. Perhaps the computer was improperly installing the driver, or the usb hub was acting 'goofy'. And you are correct, there is no safely eject hardware for the phone (i am unsure as to why though)
So if I was to loose that small cable I would be screwed? Or I could buy the same one from Nokia? It looks like a standard micro USB cable though.