Well, I hope Sahib stops eating tri-tip, I just watched
Noah (2014) and learned that all good Christians must be vegan.
POSSIBLE NOAH SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!
I just watched Noah. What a ******* terrible movie, I would be speechless if I didn't have to tell you just in parts what is wrong with this movie. This flick is packed with Christian "morality", in reality pure insanity. Noah is a ******* psychopathic killer, the bad guy is more reasonable than this crazed lunatic. Actually, all of the characters in this movie are crazy, the son that wants to kill his father because a girl died he knew like 10 minutes (mostly because he was overly horny), the weak female characters that accept everything that comes to them, with at most speaking up slightly, Noah that wants to kill his grand children just because (and the female characters doing nothing about it), his eldest son who wants to protect these children, but can't because he's amazingly incompetent... damn, who the hell wrote this?
And it wasn't even that bad in the beginning, the movie is beautifully shot, I thought that it might be not too bad. Then they encounter some kind of trolls and an old wizard (yeah, there's magic in this movie), and from there it goes downhill. The animals are poorly animated, the story doesn't make much sense, the motivations of the characters are inexplicable. When Noah tells genesis, I was first surprised, they actually showed it in a very scientific way including evolution... until the point the humans appear magically, can't upset the Christians after all, right?
The movie kills of (as described in the bible) thousands of innocent people whose only fault was doing the same thing all the actors in this flick are doing everyday. Eating meat, taking more resources than earth can provide in the long term. That's it.
Also, this movie is the greatest tale of incest ever.
How... well, I'll stop now. ...at least this vegan thing is hilarious.
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