WC 1M Post Challenge - You Ready?!

[libra89]

WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I have a mini rant but I don't know if I have enough time to type it.

At the salon answering my stylist's questions about the wedding and the other stylist is there. She's Ghanaian and she's saying that I need to think about marriage before my eggs dry up by me waiting too long.

She keeps going on and on about being able to have kids. It gets to the point where I'm sick of hearing about kids I don't plan to have so I say that I never wanted them.

She's shocked and says that maybe I should find a White man to marry because no African man would not want to not have kids. She also asked me if my dad knows about me feeling this way and I say no, he'll be informed once I'm married.

Then she says I should at least have one. Just one. Still shocked because she never met an African woman who doesn't want kids.

For real?!

Like she's saying that it comes natural. Guess what, that's never been the case for me ever. Seriously?!

 

[anon(50597)]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I have a mini rant but I don't know if I have enough time to type it.

At the salon answering my stylist's questions about the wedding and the other stylist is there. She's Ghanaian and she's saying that I need to think about marriage before my eggs dry up by me waiting too long.

She keeps going on and on about being able to have kids. It gets to the point where I'm sick of hearing about kids I don't plan to have so I say that I never wanted them.

She's shocked and says that maybe I should find a White man to marry because no African man would not want to not have kids. She also asked me if my dad knows about me feeling this way and I say no, he'll be informed once I'm married.

Then she says I should at least have one. Just one. Still shocked because she never met an African woman who doesn't want kids.

For real?!

Like she's saying that it comes natural. Guess what, that's never been the case for me ever. Seriously?!

LOL. That just shows that different cultures have different traditions but, in the end, it's an individual choice to have kids. I have 2 daughters, 31 and 25, and neither are married or have kids. Both are involved in their careers and enjoying life. If it happens, it happens, but I would never tell them what to do.
Do whatever is in your heart.

 

[ChristopherPCSpert]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I'd love to win 150K ;-)

 

[MSFTisMIA]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I have a mini rant but I don't know if I have enough time to type it.

At the salon answering my stylist's questions about the wedding and the other stylist is there. She's Ghanaian and she's saying that I need to think about marriage before my eggs dry up by me waiting too long.

She keeps going on and on about being able to have kids. It gets to the point where I'm sick of hearing about kids I don't plan to have so I say that I never wanted them.

She's shocked and says that maybe I should find a White man to marry because no African man would not want to not have kids. She also asked me if my dad knows about me feeling this way and I say no, he'll be informed once I'm married.

Then she says I should at least have one. Just one. Still shocked because she never met an African woman who doesn't want kids.

For real?!

Like she's saying that it comes natural. Guess what, that's never been the case for me ever. Seriously?!

Maybe she should have them for you. But I suppose if she did, she'd want to keep your spouse too, right?

A former married coworker who now has 3 young adult children always used to tease me about the having kids bit (she thinks I'd make a decent father). This is how the conversation would always go:

MJ: So, MIA, when are you having kids?
MIA: As soon as you're ready to make AND take care of them for me.

 

[MSFTisMIA]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I have a mini rant but I don't know if I have enough time to type it.

At the salon answering my stylist's questions about the wedding and the other stylist is there. She's Ghanaian and she's saying that I need to think about marriage before my eggs dry up by me waiting too long.

She keeps going on and on about being able to have kids. It gets to the point where I'm sick of hearing about kids I don't plan to have so I say that I never wanted them.

She's shocked and says that maybe I should find a White man to marry because no African man would not want to not have kids. She also asked me if my dad knows about me feeling this way and I say no, he'll be informed once I'm married.

Then she says I should at least have one. Just one. Still shocked because she never met an African woman who doesn't want kids.

For real?!

Like she's saying that it comes natural. Guess what, that's never been the case for me ever. Seriously?!

Not every woman desires to be a mother. Not every man desires to be a father. While every make and female potentially can create a child, no everyone is fit for Parenthood. There are a ton of people who can handle it and aren't able to do it, and there are a ton of people who have made children and should be as far for the term "parent" as Mr. Trump apparently is from the term "governing with humility".

She may be surprised because "a young girl like you" is saying such things and "you'll change your mind eventually". Good luck with that, is what I'd tell her.

 

[libra89]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Maybe she should have them for you. But I suppose if she did, she'd want to keep your spouse too, right?

A former married coworker who now has 3 young adult children always used to tease me about the having kids bit (she thinks I'd make a decent father). This is how the conversation would always go:

MJ: So, MIA, when are you having kids?
MIA: As soon as you're ready to make AND take care of them for me.

I love your response. Seriously.

 

[libra89]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

LOL. That just shows that different cultures have different traditions but, in the end, it's an individual choice to have kids. I have 2 daughters, 31 and 25, and neither are married or have kids. Both are involved in their careers and enjoying life. If it happens, it happens, but I would never tell them what to do.
Do whatever is in your heart.

Aw you're such a nice dad. It's in my heart to not have kids. Haha, thanks.

 

[libra89]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Not every woman desires to be a mother. Not every man desires to be a father. While every make and female potentially can create a child, no everyone is fit for Parenthood. There are a ton of people who can handle it and aren't able to do it, and there are a ton of people who have made children and should be as far for the term "parent" as Mr. Trump apparently is from the term "governing with humility".

She may be surprised because "a young girl like you" is saying such things and "you'll change your mind eventually". Good luck with that, is what I'd tell her.

I agree with you. Very well said.

Yeah that's a great response. I will save that for next time. I might be indecisive when it comes to some things but I'm very sure about how I feel. It's not going to happen. Doubly so in my case.

At some point, she started saying that I shouldn't get married then. My response was that I wouldn't marry someone who I know wants kids. That was when she came out with the whole "find a White man to marry" thing.

 

[fatclue_98]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I agree with you. Very well said.

Yeah that's a great response. I will save that for next time. I might be indecisive when it comes to some things but I'm very sure about how I feel. It's not going to happen. Doubly so in my case.

At some point, she started saying that I shouldn't get married then. My response was that I wouldn't marry someone who I know wants kids. That was when she came out with the whole "find a White man to marry" thing.

Find a white man? Do white people have some kind of persuasive powers I'm unaware of?

 

[libra89]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Find a white man? Do white people have some kind of persuasive powers I'm unaware of?

I think she believes that it is more likely to find a guy like that who is okay with not wanting kids among white guys over African guys.

 

[MSFTisMIA]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I think she believes that it is more likely to find a guy like that who is okay with not wanting kids among white guys over African guys.

I'm sure that there are African men who don't want kids, especially since there are men like that in every culture.

 

[libra89]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I'm sure that there are African men who don't want kids, especially since there are men like that in every culture.

True. Personally, I don't have a preference. Before anyone says this isn't realistic, I'm more drawn to personality traits over a physical type.

I don't see it likely that I would be with one though, but that's another topic.

 

[MSFTisMIA]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

True. Personally, I don't have a preference. Before anyone says this isn't realistic, I'm more drawn to personality traits over a physical type.

I don't see it likely that I would be with one though, but that's another topic.

Just as how you exist with your preferences, someone out there exists with either similar preferences or can be able to compromise with you and what you're looking for.

Sometimes people who like to tell people exactly what they can or cannot have may be projecting things they wanted and could not have in their own spheres.

 

[anon(50597)]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Interesting conversation, and some very intelligent people on this board!

 

[libra89]

WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Just as how you exist with your preferences, someone out there exists with either similar preferences or can be able to compromise with you and what you're looking for.

Sometimes people who like to tell people exactly what they can or cannot have may be projecting things they wanted and could not have in their own spheres.

Hmm that is so true that I don't even know what to say.

I don't even have a "but this happened" because I have seen this happen.

 

[fatclue_98]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Why can't people just mind their own damned business?

 

[worldspy99]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

I am having trouble concentrating on some work stuff as a very loud party is going on a few doors down.

 

[N_LaRUE]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Why can't people just mind their own damned business?

Exactly.

 

[N_LaRUE]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

Sometimes people who like to tell people exactly what they can or cannot have may be projecting things they wanted and could not have in their own spheres.

I often wonder how much jealously plays a role in what people project onto others.

I don't have kids. I'm not interested. My wife didn't want any. So we're good.

Some people can't deal with that though. My wife heard all the usual things as well. For some reason that doesn't happen for men. I wonder why? At least, not personally for me.

I don't regret not having kids either. I'm honestly not fond of kids. Also my brother and sister did enough to pass on the genes.

I think we have a big enough population anyway.

 

[MSFTisMIA]

Re: WC 150K Post Challenge - You Ready?!

You know, seeing all this teacher stuff in the news now makes we want to write a commentary post on it...

If any of the regulars here have any commentary ideas for me, please let me know...always looking for new material.