My favorite :
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey. ?Hey, could you not have raced faster??
?Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse.?
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, ?I?ve got to take you in, pal. You?re obviously drunk.
? The man: ?Officer, are you absolutely sure I?m drunk??
The cop: ?Yeah, I?m sure.?
?Let?s go.? Breathing a sigh of relief, the man said, ?Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.?
Little Bobbie, while at a neighbour?s, was given a piece of bread and butter, and politely said, ?Thank you.?
?That?s right, Bobbie,? said the lady. ?I like to hear little boys say ?thank you?.?
?Well,? rejoined Bobbie. ?If you want to hear me say it again you might put some jam on it.?
Teacher: ?Daniel, you must not use ?a? before a plural noun. Say ?cow? not ?a cows?.? Daniel: ?But Teacher, my preacher always says ?amen?.?
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, ?It?s my husband, you have to leave!? The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, ?Wait, I?m your husband!? She replies giving him a dirty look, ?So why did you run??
A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, ?It?s no good trying to outrun it. It?s catching up!?
The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, ?I?m not trying to outrun the lion, I?m trying to outrun you!?
Smile :excited::amaze:
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey. ?Hey, could you not have raced faster??
?Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse.?
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, ?I?ve got to take you in, pal. You?re obviously drunk.
? The man: ?Officer, are you absolutely sure I?m drunk??
The cop: ?Yeah, I?m sure.?
?Let?s go.? Breathing a sigh of relief, the man said, ?Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.?
Little Bobbie, while at a neighbour?s, was given a piece of bread and butter, and politely said, ?Thank you.?
?That?s right, Bobbie,? said the lady. ?I like to hear little boys say ?thank you?.?
?Well,? rejoined Bobbie. ?If you want to hear me say it again you might put some jam on it.?
Teacher: ?Daniel, you must not use ?a? before a plural noun. Say ?cow? not ?a cows?.? Daniel: ?But Teacher, my preacher always says ?amen?.?
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, ?It?s my husband, you have to leave!? The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, ?Wait, I?m your husband!? She replies giving him a dirty look, ?So why did you run??
A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, ?It?s no good trying to outrun it. It?s catching up!?
The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, ?I?m not trying to outrun the lion, I?m trying to outrun you!?
Smile :excited::amaze:
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