A brick works better than my Lumia 635...

[rhapdog]

I decided it's time I fit in better here at Windows Central, so here's my whine.

I decided to enjoy the brief sunshine, as it's been cloudy for over a month (and raining a lot), so I went outside to get some work done.

Well, needless to say, it didn't take long for me to find out how useless my Lumia 635 is for a paper weight. I'm sure it's fine indoors where there is not any wind, but hey, my last phone could hold down papers with 20mph winds blowing! This one just doesn't do any good at all if there is a wind.

I guess all's well that ends well. I found a brick I could use. All in all, I'd say the brick was a better deal. The 635 cost me $40 and couldn't hold down paper. The brick, even though cracked, held all the papers securely and was much less expensive, as I found it on the side of the road.


So, there you have it. Better to have a brick than a Lumia 635. Well, at least as a paper weight.

Now, how many of you clicked this thread thinking it was serious, and that yet another troll had reared an ugly head? I hope at least a few of you got a smile or laugh out of it. I did while writing it, so I'm happy.

 

[ven07]

Now if we can just get those darn bricks to: make calls, text, navigate, play music, play videos, stream, update social status, edit documents, take pictures, connect with onedrive, take a sd card, get me a decent wifi signal, remind me to get groceries or finish a project and most of all... allow me to read the articles and forum threads on WC!!!

I mean come on, we're not asking for much right? :evil:

 

[Parin Kaewdeewong]

But you can't write this by using a brick ; )

 

[rhapdog]

Now if we can just get those darn bricks to: make calls, text, navigate, play music, play videos, stream, update social status, edit documents, take pictures, connect with onedrive, take a sd card, get me a decent wifi signal, remind me to get groceries or finish a project and most of all... allow me to read the articles and forum threads on WC!!!

I mean come on, we're not asking for much right? :evil:

Hey, I've got an idea! If I get a really, really big rubber band, I could strap that brick to the back of my Lumia 635 and then it could do it all. Not to mention it would be a great deterrent against would-be muggers. One good slap with the "brick-phone" and they'd be out cold.

But you can't write this by using a brick ; )

Eh, used my laptop. But if you tie chalk to a brick, you can write on the sidewalk.

 

[Guytronic]

Sometimes a pencil works even better than a brick...
:winktongue:

Thread left open!

 

[ven07]

Hey, I've got an idea! If I get a really, really big rubber band, I could strap that brick to the back of my Lumia 635 and then it could do it all. Not to mention it would be a great deterrent against would-be muggers. One good slap with the "brick-phone" and they'd be out cold.

How would you carry that thing? Man-purse?

 

[rhapdog]

Man-purse would be no good. For self defense, you don't have time to unzip and dig in it. Just get a really, really big holster for it. It needs to drop down like the old gun slinger holsters in the old west, at hand level so you can grab it quick in an emergency.

Hey, and the extra heft will help you burn extra calories while walking around. Win-win situation here!

 

[Jas00555]

I remember when I tried to use my 830 to hold down a stack of papers and it couldn't even do that! My blood was boiling!!! I swear, M$ can't get anything right. They want you to buy 15 Lumia 635s just to have basic functionality of holding down stacks of papers. I'm leaving WP. It's DOA.

 

[ven07]

It needs to drop down like the old gun slinger holsters in the old west

This will require some practice :/

I'm leaving WP

Can I have your 830 tho?

 

[rhapdog]

Can I have your 830 tho?

^^^ This! Yeah! Finally, a worthy comeback for all those leaving WP!

 

[ven07]

^^^ This! Yeah! Finally, a worthy comeback for all those leaving WP!

Do I get a reward for best comeback? I could rub it in Di Caprio's face :winktongue:

 

[Guytronic]

Lucky this here thread popped up...
I was thinking the other day that maybe two 635's set under the wheels of a trailer would keep it from rolling back.

Never thought a brick or two might work better.

 

[rhapdog]

Do I get a reward for best comeback? I could rub it in Di Caprio's face :winktongue:

I hereby award you with the "Golden Brick Award". I thought about linking or embedding a picture of a golden brick, but then thought it would be better to let you Bing that yourself. I didn't want to insult your intelligence by doing it for you.

Lucky this here thread popped up...
I was thinking the other day that maybe two 635's set under the wheels of a trailer would keep it from rolling back.

Never thought a brick or two might work better.

Glad I could help. And thanks for the suggestion! I'm always in need of extra ways to use bricks!

 

[ven07]

Yea I have the bing toolbar installed so it shouldn't be a hassle lol

 

[xandros9]

It's even better at message delivery. The 635 might have trouble penetrating a Window, but a brick would have no trouble breaking Windows.

 

[ven07]

Now we're down to breaking windows.. We have failed MS

 

[xandros9]

Now we're down to breaking windows.. We have failed MS

I had a friend with the uncanny skill to break any OS in front of him.
Its a dangerous power.

 

[rhapdog]

It's even better at message delivery. The 635 might have trouble penetrating a Window, but a brick would have no trouble breaking Windows.

A remember a good deed done with a brick message. Remember Kevin in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York? He ended up saving the Toy Store's Christmas donations to the Children's Hospital. All with a good brick, a piece of paper, and a good arm. Can't do that with a Lumia.

I had a friend with the uncanny skill to break any OS in front of him.
Its a dangerous power.

Yeah, right. Give that friend a Windows Phone and watch him fail. He'll cry before he breaks it.

 

[ven07]

Can't do that with a Lumia

Surface Pro?

 

[ven07]

This phone is too light to make a good brick. Think I'll just keep using it as a phone. ��
Sent from my Lumia.

We agree with that, but we're debating whether or not it should be strapped to a brick, so it can be used as a phone and a brick :winktongue: