also i just found that the back file i renamed i wasnt suppose to rename, maybe thats why zune doesnt see it. the file with all the letters and numbers i renamed. inside that folder there is properties and restore point. inside restore point there is another folder with a long series of letters and numbers... thats the one i thought i was supposed to drag into windows phone update folder
Yes, the folder you renamed needs to be changed back to the original name, you can do that by opening the properties.xml file, you'll see something like this:
<DeviceUrlId>zune-tuner://windowsphone/
70e5a812%20-%200b953962%20-%208b437177%20-%203e3f59c8</DeviceUrlId>
Then, copy the bold part I show here to a notepad file and replace the %20 for spaces, it would have to look like this:
70e5a812 - 0b953962 - 8b437177 - 3e3f59c8
And that's the name the folder had, now you can just rename it. So yes, you need that folder with the correct name and also, the properties and restorepoint folders inside it.
Now, going back to the whole thing about zune 4.7 not letting you go to the settings for the phone so you can restore... I have a final suggestion before the "nuclear" option (aka flash a factory ROM)
You'll need:
Having placed the folder with the correct name now
and everything inside the windows phone update folder as before, you need to open the tool downloaded from xda developers. Make sure zune 4.7 is closed.
Now, you should click restore on this program and hopefully it should see the folder with the backup and begin restoring it on it's own.