For you, I was also going to suggest the Focus Flash, a near free second Gen WP with a better screen, better gaming and processor abilities, and the same size screen as the Radar. You would have less memory, but again that does not sound like a problem for you. I liked the HD7S a ton when it was out, but I guarantee that the better processor in the 2nd Gen devices will handle the upgrades on Apollo much smoother than the 1st Gen devices will. It will be worth the money for a 2 year commitment.
As for your wife, I am sure she might do better with all the selections from.Android out there. I truly think you should kick around Android Central to see. The Captivate was a very, very good phone for it's day, but inexpensive Androids are easier to come by, and again you sound like a couple that sticks with their phones for the full term. It would be a shame to settle for less.