Me: Hello my name is Snowmutt, and I am a Windows fan Boy
Group (in unison): HELLO, SNOWMUTT.
Me: Well, that was a little loud. Look, it was about early 2011 when I realized I had this problem. I was depressed because my old habit, WebOS, looked bleak, so I was looking for a new thrill. I thought, what what about this Android thing? What if I have to settle for an iPhone? But, low and behold, an LG Quantum sat in a box. I just got some Dealer to turn it on, they gave me a sample, and I got hooked.
Group: *giggles*
Me: That was actually a little creepy, all of you staring at me and giggling.
But, anyways, I started sneaking around, getting a little WP fix here, a WP fix there... While no one as looking, I would check anywhere I could for stories about it. Even at work, I would sneak on the computer to get a little taste. But then... it happened...
Group: WHAT HAPPENED??
Me: Why are you all staring at me? With everyone sitting in a circle it is really, really disturbing.
Anyways, some dealer offered me some stuff for a penny - A PENNY- and I got me and the wife (I forced her along on my addition... I feel horrible about that..) some WP goodies. Mine was a Samsung, a type of drug imported and cut from Korea. My only problem was it seem like they just gave me a taste of second hand stuff, nothing made for an addict like me. It was great, don't get me wrong, I looked for reasons to use some, turning it off and on again just to see the "Windows Phone" logo come up...
Group: *hoots and hollers*
Me: Okay, now I feel violated. Don't do that again.
But, my Wife got some bad stuff from this dealer in China. They packaged it up as special stuff for WP, I found out later they lied, and it turns out it was a bad trip. Lots of poor noise in her ear, made her irritated and edgy all the time. She kept having freezes and problems and it was just BAD STUFF, and I had to keep getting her another, and another, and another....
Group: WOOHOO!!
Me: No, you stupid Jackrabbits!! That is bad!!
Group: OHHHHH....
Me (whispering): Anyways, ... there are these new pushers... really taking over this trade, pushing in on this territory... their name is Nokia. I hear they have REALLY REALLY good stuff, unique and new. A designer drug JUST FOR ME... and they actually stand behind addicts, just to keep them strung out... I don't want to kick my habit, I want to be enabled!! SOMEONE ENABLE ME!!! GET ME STRUNG OUT!!! FEED MY HABIT!!
COME ON NOKIA!!! MAKE ME A USER!! Force everyone else that sells this candy we call WP to be pushing the good stuff!! We all win!!