Originally Posted by
Mesbah Hey, are you confident that your WiFi speed is steady during good & bad times of App installing? Sometimes IPS interruption appear to be WP problem while they are not. While installing Apps and they freeze or slow down, have an Outage site like
Status overview | Canadian Outages to check your Internet WiFi speed. Alternatively, you can try disabling WiFi completely and download via your WP roaming (watch for $$$)

Nah. I thought that might be the case for a while, so I made sure to try updates right next to my router. Even tried rebooting the router to make sure things were kosher there. Various speed and pings tests from pc, router and phone all confirmed that everything was good. Also tried on cellular data only and the ones that were small enough to be downloaded over the cell network still failed with the same error.
I actually was able to uninstall that "Getting Started" app altogether before trying any of the updates again. That was the one that's been lingering around, un-updateable for nearly 2 months, so I kind of have a sneaking suspicion (although no real data to back it up) that something related to that may have been gumming everything else up.