Actually the two reasons you mention favor the HTC One M8 vs. the Nokia 1020.
1. Since you have a child, you know that your child moves quickly and as you put it, "does awesome things at random time." That being the case, you want quick autofocus, and quick shot to shot times, both of which heavily favor the HTC phone. Not even a close call here.
2. You mention you like to take pictures while driving. Well I don't recommend driving and taking pictures at the same time, but you probably want a camera that starts up faster and focuses faster if you're going to take pictures with it while operating a motor vehicle.
I've played with the 1020 before, and while I don't doubt that the camera is very good for a smartphone, it is slow and cumbersome. The 1020 will be better for landscape shots or situations when you can take your time, while the M8 will be better for more spontaneous picture taking or sports/fast activities.