Well I bit the bullet and I tried the mango update from
Get the Mango update now. Without being a developer. - Windows Phone Hacker
and basically... yeah, it didn't work. I started freaking out thinking I bricked it. It downloaded the update, but when it restarted it did not turn back on. The zune software was just stuck on saying "Installing Update". After 15min of a blank screen I disconnected the phone and tried to turn it on. I pulled the battery and then when the phone turned back on it went to the "connect to pc" image with the backup signal on it, but the computer wasn't reacting to the phone being connected.
If you are an impatient fool like me and are in the same deal as me, I think you'll be okay. Right now, I am restoring my backup, and considering the time it must be my NoDo backup which is ~16gb. To do this, follow the instructions on the Windows Phone Recovery Tool. BAsically, turn off the phone and then turn it back on while pressing the camera button. Release the power button while still pressing the camera button. This will launch the recovery mode and you zune software should prompt you to restore from your backup.
I'm probably really stupid, but I'm going to try it again when the restore is finished.
Anybody successful at doing this hacked up update? I should have just stopped being lazy and gotten my developer unlock (I have the dreamspark developer account which requires you to finish and submit an app before they allow you to unlock your device).