Put it an a4 enveloper and strap it to a pigeon?
LOL... Good one.
GUARD
#1 : Where'd you get the Surface Laptop?
ARTHUR: We found it.
GUARD
#1 : Found it? In Mercea? The Surface Laptop's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD
#1 : Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The pigeon may fly south with the sun or the house martin
or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
strangers to our land.
GUARD
#1 : Are you suggesting Surface Laptops migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD
#1 : What -- a pigeon carrying a Surface Laptop?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the case!
GUARD
#1 : It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
question of weight ratios! A ten ounce bird could not carry a 2 pound
Surface Laptop.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master
that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD
#1 : Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a pigeon
needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
GUARD
#1 : Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD
#2 : It could be carried by an African pigeon!
GUARD
#1 : Oh, yeah, an African pigeon maybe, but not a European
pigeon, that's my point.
GUARD
#2 : Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
at Camelot?!
GUARD
#1 : But then of course African pigeons are not migratory.
GUARD
#2 : Oh, yeah...
GUARD
#1 : So they couldn't bring a Surface Laptop back anyway...
[clop clop]
GUARD
#2 : Wait a minute -- supposing two pigeons carried it together?
GUARD
#1 : No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD
#2 : Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARD
#1 : What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD
#2 : Well, why not?