Haha, in my opinion user-friendliness is an overrated virtue and I would prefer functionality over user-friendliness, any day.
With that said however Android is indeed user friendly, if you don't like the sea of widgets just pin your favorite apps, that's it. No fuss and no clutter. Android isn't as hard to use as people make it out to be. Oh and some OEMs like Samsung actually give you an "Easy Mode" where you just have the essentials on your homescreen.
This is what makes Android so versatile, it appeals to the average user and the power user.
You can't put down Google Now for one thing, I mean maybe it can't play a song but it can be activated anywhere and it mostly responds instead of just giving you a written response. Plus you can activate it from any app by just saying "Ok Google" and in Android L you'll also be able to wake your phone from sleep by saying "Ok Google." For one feature that Google Now may not have, it has many features that Cortana doesn't.
I actually in some ways prefer Cortana over Google Now, thus my point that Windows Phone has a few advantages over Android and iOS.
Moving on Samsung has always differed from how other OEMs and Google design the operating system, Android 4.4 is very different from TouchWiz. And a decent amount of people really love TouchWiz, why do you think Samsung sells so well?
Android isn't Samsung to the main market and there has been a huge visual overhaul in Android L, now with a universal design language. It's looks quite amazing, go check out a video about it. It beats Windows Phone 8 in just about every way.
I've used keyboards on Windows Phone and keyboards on Android, it depends on how fast you type but I generally find that I type much faster on my Nexus 5, even gesture typing is better because I get a preview of what is being typed. So your argument about keyboards holds no value, no one has complained about keyboard touch responsiveness on Android.
The Play Music app bundled with most Android devices hands down is both faster, functional and has better animations than Xbox Music on Windows Phone. The Play Music app also has better integration with the lockscreen and notification center.
Using a different launcher doesn't kill your battery depending on what kind of launcher that you use and apps on Android may not have maintained a central design language but they were nonetheless in many places much better looking and functional than the Windows Phone counterparts.
Android also sees amazing apps that no other platform gets and the quality of most Android apps is superb.
To end your argument Android Central has explained countless times why apps like Facebook Messenger need certain permissions and even many app developers explain why as well.
If you don't like live wallpapers don't use them, it's not like you had them on Windows Phone and are gonna miss them.
And there are a lot of apps on Windows Phone that ask for your location even though they aren't used for navigation. People have also complained about this.
The simple answer is that don't download apps that ask for too many permissions, they probably won't be worth it anyways.
As far your argument about battery life goes, Windows Phone isn't known for superb battery life either, those titles are still retained by many Android phones.