Well, by some strange power, Expansys emailed me today:
Dear Customer,
After careful consideration of the case, it has been decided that we will issue a refund for the product to close the case officially.
Refund will be reversed back in 2-3 business days into the card used to make the original purchase
Well, I don't know if it was my last message, my twitter hounding, my Facebook posts, or my LinkedIn employee emailing that got the job done. But it's done (well I hope so, I'll def. post up if I don't get the refund).
Thanks for the tips RumoredNow. Now I gotta search to know where to buy my next phone from. I've been so deprived.