ASUS T100 CHI - Cannot Login (no keyboard, touchpad, or touchscreen)

[jiminyjones]

I have a new Asus T100 CHI (Windows 10). It will turn on, and even reboot if I hold the power button in. But the touchscreen doesn't work and the keyboard/touchpad don't work (yes, toggled on bluetooth). So...I can't login to even begin troubleshooting. Hard turn-off just reboots to the same situation. I can't even turn it off by "sliding" the screen.