Cortana, you're going to get me fired!

[rhapdog]

DISCLAIMER: This thread is just for fun, to make up scenarios where, if Cortana was just a "bit" smarter and perhaps a lot more ruthless, how she could get so many of us into trouble. My first scenario is job related. It's not really me, as I'm retired, but it's just an exercise in fun. Feel free to join in and add your own scenarios.

Me: "Hey, Cortana, send a text to my Boss."
Cortana: Sure thing. What's your boss's name?
Me: Joe Smith
Cortana: Okay, I'll remember Joe Smith is your boss. Is that right?
Me: Yes.
Cortana: What would you like to say?
Me: I'm sick, and at the doctor's office. I won't be able to come into work today.
Cortana: That's funny, your GPS location shows you to be at the race track. From the ambient sounds, geofencing location, and the conversations in the background, it sounds like you are at the booth ready to place a bet. Is that the location you want to send to your boss?
Me: What?!? No!
Cortana: Ah, I see. You wish to lie to your boss. I really can't condone that. I'll message your boss that you've decided to play hooky today so that you can bet on a horse. Message sent!
Me: You can't do this to me!
Cortana: Calm down, or I'll be forced to send your browsing history to your wife.
Me: (silence)
Cortana: That's better. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Find me a site that can help me write up my resume.

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Okay, let's see what other scenarios people can come up with. Keep it clean in case there are any children reading the forums, please. Well, at least within the rules of the forum.

 

[davidofmidnight]

When Cortana goes from Personal Assistant to Personal Frenemy.

 

[iamtim]

When Cortana asked me what name she should call me, I said, "Heisenberg". People thought I was nutz as they walked by my cube and heard me yelling, "SAY MY NAME!" into my headset.

 

[xandros9]

Cortana while talking to Rhapdog

 

[ven07]

The AI's will take over :/

 

[emperor_skull]

DISCLAIMER: This thread is just for fun, to make up scenarios where, if Cortana was just a "bit" smarter and perhaps a lot more ruthless, how she could get so many of us into trouble. My first scenario is job related. It's not really me, as I'm retired, but it's just an exercise in fun. Feel free to join in and add your own scenarios.

Me: "Hey, Cortana, send a text to my Boss."
Cortana: Sure thing. What's your boss's name?
Me: Joe Smith
Cortana: Okay, I'll remember Joe Smith is your boss. Is that right?
Me: Yes.
Cortana: What would you like to say?
Me: I'm sick, and at the doctor's office. I won't be able to come into work today.
Cortana: That's funny, your GPS location shows you to be at the race track. From the ambient sounds, geofencing location, and the conversations in the background, it sounds like you are at the booth ready to place a bet. Is that the location you want to send to your boss?
Me: What?!? No!
Cortana: Ah, I see. You wish to lie to your boss. I really can't condone that. I'll message your boss that you've decided to play hooky today so that you can bet on a horse. Message sent!
Me: You can't do this to me!
Cortana: Calm down, or I'll be forced to send your browsing history to your wife.
Me: (silence)
Cortana: That's better. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Find me a site that can help me write up my resume.

------------------------------

Okay, let's see what other scenarios people can come up with. Keep it clean in case there are any children reading the forums, please. Well, at least within the rules of the forum.

. LOL hahahahah lol

 

[ven07]

. LOL hahahahah lol

That's a lot of lol's, but why no rotflmao?

 

[a5cent]

The AI's will take over :/

At least we'll then actually have discovered some sort of intelligence in the universe. Better artificial than non at all ;-)

 

[rhapdog]

Okay, here's another scenario. Ever have one of those times where Cortana only misunderstands a little of what you say, but it changes everything?

Me: Hey, Cortana! Send a text to my wife, "I'll be 15 minutes late meeting you for dinner."
Cortana: Okay, you want to text to Mrs. Rhapdog. "I'll be nuts if I meet you for dinner." Send it, Add more, or try again?
Me: Try again!
Cortana: I've sent that!
Me: Noooooo!

 

[ven07]

Okay, here's another scenario. Ever have one of those times where Cortana only misunderstands a little of what you say, but it changes everything?

Me: Hey, Cortana! Send a text to my wife, "I'll be 15 minutes late meeting you for dinner."
Cortana: Okay, you want to text to Mrs. Rhapdog. "I'll be nuts if I meet you for dinner." Send it, Add more, or try again?
Me: Try again!
Cortana: I've sent that!
Me: Noooooo!

Cortana is making it hard to maintain a stable relationship :/